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Monday, 20 June 2011

Travels with my TS'Aspie

Its becoming apparent that our sanitised, soap opera savvy world doesnt accept the whoops, grunts and blurtings of my Current Partner (CP). He is a TSaspie, - a mix of Aspergers and TS, with massive tic attacks, meltdowns, and a sharp tongue. You can imagine he may not make the Agatha Christie List of refined diners......
When I lived in Italy for a while, they were notable for not giving a fig about bringing everyone in the family to their dinner table, no matter what foibles they had.
Here, I've lately had two of what CP calls 'Incidences', that bring home the fact that most people 'out there' do not like or appreciate a person who appears to be doing something out of the ordinary.
One such Incident was within my own circle of friends. CP came with me on a visit, due to the serious illness of another of our number, a meeting he was entitled to be involved in. He cares deeply for the friend and she was delighted to see him. Not so the others within the outer circle, whose mealy mouthed mealy mouths, nearly put me off auch encounters for good. Mutters about 'not bringing him' and 'why did you bring him', like he is some unruly, untamed pet dog. It was hell.
My role at these gatherings, seems to be a treading eggshells, smoothing the way, and explaining, explaining, explaining...
Then a recent Incident was CP being asked to leave a social gathering (which he usually avoids) because he had made an inappropriate remark (a tic one, not premeditated, but still darn funny, and, er, appropriate...) and got a humphy stare back and a snippy remark about not behaving properly, etc etc. I asked the Humpher to 'explain what she felt and why she thought it a good idea to react that way to someone who has involuntary behaviours, and who had driven a long way to be treated like this'. (Oops, well, I had been emboldened by vodka at this point; and we had driven over 100 miles for the pleasure of being humphed at). She said she thought CP did these things 'deliberately'. So, an opportunity to explain... again.... about TS and the Aspie way. Good result: CP welcomed back into the room, but not really a triumph, because its just another sticking plaster over the thin lips of society, who dont like those who 'frighten the horses'. Sigh


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