Friday, 1 July 2011

Happy Families

I've mentioned in my work blog that its been a hard week, due perhaps, to the newly started holidays and concentration of effort to enjoy ourselves when we've all had a tough winter, and if you've been campaigning and fighting, its hard to step back from that.
CP has got some sort of malaise against holidays, too. He cant emerge out of a depressive, obsessive thoughts bubble, and the sunshine and people in families all going out on days out, really clashes with his darkness. Never one for paisley patterns, he tries to block out brightness and continue with his dour demeanour. He does have a tic that encompasses light and dark, so he cant sleep or function with bright stuff around him. Perhaps I should install a cave under the hall.
He hates the summer anyway; loves the winter. So make that an Igloo.
I wonder if, whilst daily struggling against the tide of apathy or vacuousness (he says) that are possessed of the Neurotypical, and his constant battle to have the approval of his fellow humans without judgement, I wonder if this has coloured (or blackened) his view of people and their antics. Certainly, this time of year is hellish for both of us, no matter what I suggest, its all too bright, too noisy, too 'full of people', and I cant even begin to imagine how horrible it is for him to carry his fear of someone taking the mickey, or staring at him, or causing a fuss. Make that a hermitage, then.


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